有一种体验很多人都有：明明知道某段关系有毒，还是反复走进去；明明发誓"下次不会这样"，下次还是一样。这不是意志力问题，Van der Kolk 给了一个更底层的解释：创伤性重演（traumatic reenactment）。
"Many traumatized people expose themselves, seemingly compulsively, to situations reminiscent of the original trauma. These behavioral reenactments are rarely consciously understood to be related to earlier life experiences."
更残忍的是，重演往往以"这次我能控制结局"的幻觉启动。但结局通常不变。Van der Kolk 观察到，创伤者有时甚至会在重演中感受到奇异的"活着感"——那种高度激活的状态，是他们唯一能感受到自己存在的时刻。
"The repetition compulsion can serve as a way to master an old trauma — to replay it until you get it right. The problem is that the old feelings of terror, shame, or rage are reactivated along with it, and the original helplessness is rarely overcome."
认出重演，是停下它的第一步。不是评判自己"怎么又来了"，而是好奇地问：我的身体在寻找什么？