我们常说"被爱长大的孩子更有安全感"，但很少追问这背后的生理机制。Bessel van der Kolk 给出了答案：这不是比喻，是字面意义上的神经系统塑造。
"Attunement — the wordless, back-and-forth rhythms between a mother and her infant — creates the neurological foundations for the child's future ability to regulate their emotions."
"Children who don't have this attuned relationship with their caregivers often grow up unable to identify what they are feeling. They may feel chronically empty, or they may act out without knowing why."
好消息是：神经系统有可塑性。调频可以在任何关系里发生——治疗师、伴侣、甚至一段有节奏的运动。身体学过一次，就会记得。