有一种痛苦不会随时间淡去，因为它根本不活在"过去"——它活在此刻，活在你的身体里。Van der Kolk 花了整本书在解释这一件事：创伤不是回忆，是重演。
"Traumatized people chronically feel unsafe inside their bodies: The past is alive in the form of gnawing interior discomfort. Their bodies are constantly bombarded by visceral warning signs, and, in an attempt to control these processes, they often become expert at ignoring their gut feelings and numbing awareness of what is played out inside."
"As long as you keep secrets and suppress information, you are fundamentally at war with yourself... The critical issue is allowing yourself to know what you know. That takes an enormous amount of courage."
今晚读到这里，有点沉。创伤最狡猾的地方，是它让人觉得"这就是我"，而不是"这是发生在我身上的事"。分清这两者，可能是改变的第一步。