我们以为创伤是"发生了什么可怕的事"。但 Bessel van der Kolk 的研究指向一个更深的地方：创伤真正摧毁的，是一个人对自身存在的连贯感。
"Trauma robs you of the feeling that you are in charge of yourself... The challenge of recovery is to reestablish ownership of your body and your mind — of your self." — Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score
这种碎裂往往以隐蔽的方式呈现：不停取悦别人、对亲密关系又渴望又逃避、在某些情境下突然麻木。这些不是性格问题，是系统在保护一个已经不稳的核心。
"Many traumatized people find themselves doing things they know are harmful, but they cannot help themselves... Their self-loathing and despair are symptoms of their lost self." — Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score
所以那些真正有效的疗愈方式——瑜伽、舞动、EMDR、身体扫描——本质上都在做同一件事：帮你重新"住回"自己的身体，重新成为自己感受的主人。