Van der Kolk 有一个观察刺穿了我：创伤幸存者往往不是"感到羞耻"，而是"成为羞耻"——羞耻不是一种情绪，而是一种身份认同，刻进了姿态、声音和呼吸里。
"Shame is the emotion that makes people feel that they deserve their fate — that there is something fundamentally wrong with them."
更细的洞见来自内感受（interoception）这个概念：我们感受情绪的能力，实际上依赖于感知自己身体内部状态的能力。脱节于身体 = 脱节于自我。
"In order to change, people need to become aware of their sensations and the way that their bodies interact with the world around them."
这让人想到：我们文化里的"坚强"往往是麻木的另一个名字。感受它，才能放下它。