解离不是软弱,是一种聪明到极点的求生策略——但代价很贵。
当危险无法被逃脱、也无法被反击时,神经系统会启动最后的方案:把"你"从正在发生的事情里抽离出来。身体留在原地,但意识像飘到了天花板上,冷静地俯视着一切。这就是解离。
"Dissociation is the essence of trauma. The overwhelming experience is split off and fragmented, so that the emotions, sounds, images, thoughts, and physical sensations related to the trauma take on a life of their own."
— Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score
问题是,解离是个一刀切的开关。它在保护你不感受到那些难以承受的时候,也顺带关掉了你对日常快乐、亲密、在场的感知能力。
"Many traumatized people are in a constant state of inner turmoil while appearing calm on the surface... They have learned to hide their inner reality from the world."
— Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score
治愈的方向,是反过来——不是更用力地想通,而是慢慢学会重新住进自己的身体里。